What's the Difference between Memoir and Autobiography?

First thing to say is: no, it's not a daft question. You can relax and stop feeling embarrassed - it's something most people don’t actually know the answer to.

In a nutshell, it’s simple. An autobiography describes a record of someone's whole life, from birth to wherever they are today. It’s complete, soup to nuts, in chronological order. Think of it as an A-Z map.

A memoir is different. It usually focuses on one aspect of a life, a specific slice of time or a recurring theme that resurfaces over the years. Rather than covering everything, it covers something. It’s not the whole alphabet; it’s just D or M.

Now, here's where it gets a bit more complicated. I deliberately used words like "usually" because, in everyday conversation, people use the two terms interchangeably. Outside publishing, almost nobody cares about the distinction - apart from pedants like me. 

So if it's mostly pedantry, why does the distinction matter at all?

Because once you get past the dictionary definition, the real difference isn't about length or timespan, it's about what the book is for.

Ask most people whether they want to write a memoir or an autobiography and you'll get a blank look. That's because it's the wrong question.

The better question is this: What are you actually trying to leave behind?

• An autobiography leaves behind chronology. Here's what happened, in order, to set the record straight.

• A memoir leaves behind meaning. Not just what happened, but what it all added up to.

Once you decide to focus on meaning, the direction becomes even clearer depending on your goal:

• A Private Memoir leaves behind a legacy. It’s written for the people who already know you and the generations who will only ever know you through the page, your grandkids or great-grandkids asking, "What were they actually like?"

• A Public Memoir leaves behind readers. It's built to travel beyond your inner circle, which changes almost everything about how it’s written.

• A Founder Story leaves behind judgment. If you’ve built a business, this isn't an org chart or an exit multiple. It’s the thinking that got you there, the calls you made when nobody was watching, and the risks that could easily have gone the other way.

Different jobs, same rough shape of a book on the surface - but wildly different animals underneath.

Which brings us back to the original question. Memoir and autobiography are essentially two ends of the same instinct: the desire to capture something meaningful before it disappears.

Where you land on that spectrum has less to do with how much ground you cover and more to do with who you're writing for - and what you want them to understand when they turn the final page.

Most people who come to me unsure of what they want aren't confused. They just haven't been asked the right question yet.

That's usually where the real book begins.